047 - Dreams, Wants, Desires, Longings!

Welcome to The Fully Lived Life podcast! A podcast for those who are longing to pursue the full life and want to break free from anything that holds them back. Listen in as two friends - a psychologist, Dr. Merry, and a life coach, Gillian - talk about life, love, and purpose - with wisdom, humor, and transparency -  through the lens of science, psychology, and life experiences.

In today’s episode we throw out these words to get some reaction. Some of the reactions may be sadness, excitement, regret, hope and a “I don’t know if I have any”!

What:

Chapter 7 of Jen Hatmaker’s book “Fierce, Free and Full of FIre” is on Dreaming.

Do you have one of these dreams or longings  that is maybe sitting under the surface or worse yet down deep and maybe even buried?  Merry and Gillian both share how they have had to rein themselves in from this.

So What:

In Henry Cloud's book “9 Things You Simply Must Do”, he talks about the concept of playing the movie. Take the life you are living today and in the case of our topic today of your dreams, what will the movie look like if you don’t make any choices to move in the direction of your dream? In 1 year, 5 years, 10 years?

Merry and GIllian discuss how gender may get in the way of women pursuing their dreams. For our female listeners, the idea of “wanting” may seem like a bad thing.

So let’s ask ourselves:

Do I have a dream? A dream that I am refusing to bring into the light of day?

How would that dream benefit me, benefit others, benefit the world?

Now What:

Therapeutic Response: Merry often asks people: “if you could dream of the perfect day what would it look like?”  or “If you didn’t have to get a paycheck what would you be doing?”

Here are some suggestions to spark some thoughts around your dreams and longings:

1. Think about yourself as a child and what you loved doing. What made you happy? Look at old pictures/videos if you can to help you stir up the memories. Then think about what lies or mental agreements came up that may have led to your shutting down of that imaginative, dreamy part of yourself - this is impractical, you’re just being lazy, this will never happen so just get on with it, etc. - sit with this part for a while to really process all the internal emotions and narratives that could be holding you back from dreaming
   
2. Think of the perfect day (or week) - where would you be, what would you be doing, who would you be with - if money, education, skills were not an issue
   

Life Coaching Exercise:

What did you dream about when you were a child, a teen?

Was the dream fostered or squelched…. By whom?

If the dream is still alive in you even by a flicker what can you do to add a little gas?

Remember - play the movie… if you don’t do anything to gas the dream play the movie of your life 1 yr, 3 5 10 yrs from now.  It’s a brave step to go on this adventure, but what will you be missing out on if you don’t try?

Links:

Dr. Merry’s book: https://amzn.to/2rCrJyI

Dr. Merry’s videos: https://bit.ly/377eFR0

Dr. Merry’s website: https://drmerry.com

Dr. Lin & Associates: http://drlinandassociates.com

Gillian’s Website: https://gillianmcshane.com

Jen Hatmaker's book: https://amzn.to/2Z6QcKf

Henry Clouds book: https://amzn.to/3lWdtI6